


what is love?

by tonyang (kurusui)



Category: Keyakizaka46 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Canon, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 22:05:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurusui/pseuds/tonyang
Summary: it's inexplicable.





	what is love?

**Author's Note:**

> removed this a little from reality by intentionally NOT doing research so suspend your disbelief.

The first time Suzumoto thought about it was a little ironic. She was in one of those plastic folding chairs at the 2nd round of auditions, just one in a long line. And that long line was part of a series of rows.

“Isn’t she pretty?” Contestant #25 asked from beside her. The girl was pointing to who Suzumoto would later be introduced to as Kobayashi Yui. Her stoic face broke into a small smile.

“She is,” Suzumoto said, before her eyes drifted to the person sitting next to Kobayashi, and that loud, obnoxious laugh. A package deal.

Suzumoto turned away towards the judges and started counting pencil strokes.

 

.

 

Oda Nana’s chin is a little sharp and her haircut is unflattering. These are the things that Suzumoto Miyu tells herself first when they meet face to face in the dressing room.

“Hi, I’m Oda Nana,” Oda says. It’s not like Suzumoto didn’t know. Oda has been going around introducing herself to every girl in the room with a firm handshake and her voice is loud, so that’s how she knows. There’s no other reason.

“I’m-”

“Miyu-chan, right? You like chestnuts.”

Oda smiles proudly like she’s done something there. At least Suzumoto didn’t interrupt when she knew more than she was supposed to!

“Yeah,” she says finally. “I love chestnuts.”

 

.

 

Oda Nana wakes up on Suzumoto Miyu’s couch and asks wearily, “What am I doing here?”

“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t drink too much and if I didn’t care enough about your image,” Suzumoto states from the kitchen table, novel opened and turned over to hold her place.  

“I don’t remember a thing,” Oda murmurs. “Thanks.”

“You were stumbling all over the bar calling Kobayashi cute,” Suzumoto says bluntly. This is actually something she didn’t want to admit. If Oda remembers nothing, Suzumoto could make her believe anything.

Suzumoto isn’t too kind for that. She’s just too prideful.

“Well, I wasn’t lying,” Oda says.

Suzumoto swallows, heart beating out of her chest. It’s fine.

 

.

 

There’s only one way Suzumoto can think of to deal with this. So:

“I am in love with you,” Suzumoto declares, in front of everyone. The group, Tsuchida, Sawabe, the staff, etc. Essentially everyone you can think of who could feasibly be in their presence is there for the purposes of this exercise.

“Well,” Oda says. She purses her lips. “Great. I like Kobayashi.”

Everyone is staring at her now. Not Oda, just her.

“Great,” Suzumoto echoes.

And then she’s heartbroken, but everyone knows, so Saito comes over and holds her under her arms so she doesn’t crumple to the ground, and Ishimori nervously glances over at Oda to see what she’s going to do. Oda says sorry again, in kind of a whisper, and then the back door opens. Kobayashi enters.

Kobayashi was in the bathroom the whole time, so she didn’t hear any of this. That’s what happens when you don’t specify the present individuals, Suzumoto realizes. Oda, out of respect, sits in her folding chair and says hi to her.

The cameras are rolling. So in one fell swoop, Suzumoto invents a storyline and also bares her affections to the entire world. There’s nothing to hide and nothing to lose anymore. No more private moments when Suzumoto has to wonder what it all means. She can face Kobayashi later.

 

.

 

“Why do you like me?” Oda asks, sometime after Suzumoto has inadvertently let it slip that she has feelings. It would have been easier the way she imagined it, but life never gives you what you want, or even what you expect.

“I wish it made sense,” she says.

“I just wanna know, I’m not gonna judge or anything.” Oda is laughing. “How could I judge you for liking me?”

“You laugh.”

“I’ll stop.” Oda shuts up. Her face is so uncharacteristically serious that Suzumoto almost wants to lean over the board game to tickle her, because it doesn’t make sense to see her like that.

“I just like you because you’re you. Don’t you want Kobayashi to like you? Don’t you think she should see something in you if you want that?”

“I’m not really waiting for her to like me,” Oda maintains. “But it would be nice if she did. I think she’s coming around.”

“You deserve her,” Suzumoto says. “I hope she does come around.”

“Oh, you don’t have to say that, Miyu,” Oda says, and because she’s a living contradiction, vexatious and enchanting, it stops right there like a broken, smooth record: _Miyu. Miyu. Miyu---_

 

.

 

Suzumoto writes out a list. Oda has to know. In the end she’s bottled it up to herself, and this is what she was clear about never wanting.

 

  * _Kind_

  * _Funny_

  * _Confident_

  * _Foolish_

  * _Beautiful_

  * _You’re just special to me, Oda Nana. I can’t explain it. I think that’s what love is. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before so I wouldn’t know. I just like everything that you do and say and I’d really stare at you all day if you’d let me and ideally you would stare back._

  * _I’m lucky you like Kobayashi and will never change_

  * _I wish it’d work between us but I don’t think it ever can so it’s just easier_




 

Suzumoto takes the sheet of paper and walks over to Moriya’s furnace, opens the door, tosses it in.

 

 

 


End file.
